Hati yang Panas

Kehidupan ini sangat aku tak sangka. Bukanlah nak kata aku ni baik, aku tahu aku juga akan buat benda yang aku cakap tak patut buat...tapi bila kita marah semua akan keluar apa yang kita tak bermaksud pun pasti akan keluar... Sebagai seorang kawan, kau sepatutnya tahu dan fahami diri ini.

Jangan disebabkan perkataan atau kata-kata yang keluar terus ia dijadikan alasan untuk aku diabaikan dan dilupakan dan terus diperkotak-katikkan. Tetapi tak mengapa ade ubi ade batas.

Aku cuba buang ego ke tepi dan merendahkan maruah, tapi kalau aku senyum seperti kerang busuk tetapi kau buat aku seperti halimunan, ape nak cakap. Kalau sekali, dua takpe tapi tolonglah aku pun ade hati dan perasaan.

Kenapa aku tak suka bercampur dan bersendirian? Sebab aku takut, takut kehilangan kerana dah terlalu rapat. Kenapalah susah sangat nak faham!!!

 

Argh...CUKUP,CUKUP. Aku takkan melayan hati lagi... Tarik nafas panjang dan lepaskannya dengan semua masalah yang remeh ini. Aku tak perlu semua ini.

Is it a crime???

I'm confussed with the God creature we ladies call guys, male, man, boys and the list goes on. I just don't understand. One day you come into our lifes the next thing we know you are leaving.

You gave me hope and makes me fly to the fantasy, lala land and the next thing you are gone, gone with the wind. One day you are warm and sweet the next day you are cold like the steel. I just could not get it. If you like why can't you just say it? I know it's millenium but it would be nice to hear you say that you cares. If you don't like why must you put hope and lingered around as though I'm just a doll or only a toy for you to play when you are bored...

I just dont understand why must you say you cares when everything is already too late. When the heart is burried deep down there is no point anymore. Can't you get it... Stop playing games with my heart.

Maybe it was just me who think to much from the very beginning but was it really my fault. Why must you lead me to the uncertainty and color it with hope at the first place. All I want is love , someone who can show me that he cares and can pampered me at for this moment. I want to feel that there is someone out there loves, cares and cherish me for who I am. Is that a crime???

LOVE OH LOVE WHERE R U???

Sometimes I’m wondering is there love for me or it just me that don’t realize it. Sometimes we are chasing after for something that was not meant for us and we forget that what we are looking for is just there right there in front of us.

Love seems so comfortable when it is around. Everything is taken care for. But to have it is not easy too. Sometimes I felt that I’ve change just to get the love. But is that what I really want? Will is last forever or just a matter of years if I’m lucky. Beauty or good looking can be subjective but also objective sometimes. It’s all up to us how we see it. I’m just another ugly duckling who would not dare to be in a row with the swans.

If there is a man of my life will I know it? I just don’t know but I’m afraid that I might loss my chance of having a real relationship if I still wondering and close my heart to everyone. All I ever wanted is love to be mine and be kept and cherish it forever is that to demanding? What is there that I don’t have? I might not beautiful but all I can offer you back is unconditional love.

I can go on ask and wondering the future but it will not help me right? Maybe it’s best for me to wait a little more and let the future to be the future. After all it’s we can’t see the future but what we can do to make it better is matter.

Love no matter where are you or when will you come, I hope you will be my shining star that brighten up my life.

TOP

The journey of life to the top is not easy as we thought. Dreaming is easy but to achieve it is not that easy as it seems. I never thought learning is that hard but that is what I have to face, because there’s no pain no gain.

I’ve been gave choice to save my life or crush by it. I’ve learn in this process to the top its either you kill or you are killed by others. I don’t really mean as kill here but its either you use your power over others to win or they will step and you lost. Sometimes even your closest friend can be your killer.

In fantasy everything is nice, beautiful and loving, but the reality it is a harsh world. It’s up to us either we face it or run away. Believe me face it is hard but it is worth for everything we fight for.